Friday, July 11, 2014

Love or Career?

Congratulations to "Pema D.", the winner in Alexia's giveaway. Thank you to all who particiated!

I’ve discovered that this is a recurring theme in my books. Will the main characters choose love or their career? I write romance, so of course they will choose love. But I often wonder in real life what my decision would be. I’ve never been so devoted to a career path that it had interfered in my love life. Except that in my early 20s I knew I wanted to travel, so avoided getting deeply involved with anyone. I was determined not to fall in love before I’d seen the world, or at least a good portion of it.

A couple of months ago, my husband and I were watching a show and the hero was offered his dream job on the other side of the country. He and the heroine had only been dating a couple of months but they were in love. Would the heroine give up her blossoming career to follow the hero? Or would she put her job before love? The resultant discussion between my husband and I was an interesting.

His immediate response was that of course she should follow the hero. He reasoned that she could get a job in the new city as well. At first I thought maybe he was being sexist, so I asked if the positions were reversed, if the heroine were offered the great job, did he think the hero should pack it in and move? Surprisingly, or maybe not because I did marry the man, he replied “yes.” And it made me wonder, who was the true romantic in our relationship? Perhaps my husband would be better suited to be a romance writer. Because I believed that unless you achieve a measure of personal fulfillment, you can’t be truly happy in a relationship.

My husband owns his own business. He has put blood, sweat and tears into making it successful. Yet he maintains that he would pack in the whole thing if I needed to move away to pursue my dreams. Now, given that I am a complete nomad, this is no idle promise. I have never, ever in my life lived in one place as long as I have at our current location. And every three months or so I ask my husband if we can move—not to a different city, but to a different country. But without a logical explanation of why we need to move, aside from my whim, he knows I won’t uproot the children from school and rip him away from his company. However, if I was truly unhappy, I know he’d follow me to the ends of the earth—or that lavender farm in the south of France I’ve had my eye on for years. Of course, the excuse of needing to move for my career is moot, because I can write anywhere. But move to make me happy? I have to believe he would.

However, we’ve been married for 17 years. Would he have given up his job and career prospects if we’d only been dating for three months? How long does it take before the commitment to the relationship becomes more important than the dream job? How long before you gamble your happiness on a relationship working? Does there need to be a commitment? I honestly don’t know.

In my latest book, An Inconvenient Love, the hero, Luca and heroine, Sophia marry for reasons other than love. However, when their careers pull them to opposites sides of the country, they have to decide which is more important, their jobs or their marriage. Will their fledging love be strong enough for one of them to give up their dreams to make the other happy?

It’s something I wonder. Would I have the guts to throw away my dreams on the chance of happiness in a relationship? Or would the possibility of adventure over the horizon be too much to resist?

Have you given up a dream to pursue a relationship? How did it work out? If you could do it again, would you do something different? I’d love to hear your thoughts—love or career?

I will gift one ebook of An Inconvenient Love to a commenter. For an additional entry, sign up for my newsletter at All newsletter subscribers receive automatic entry into my contests.

Author Info:
Alexia once traveled the world, meeting new people, experiencing new sights and tastes. She’s lived in Canada, New Zealand, Australia, England, and France, as well as spent time in Panama and Russia. When life demanded that she stay rooted in one place, she took to vicarious voyages through the characters she created in her romance novels. Her stories reflect her love of travel and feature locations as diverse as the wind-swept prairies of Canada to hot and humid cities in Asia.

Social Media Links:

An Inconvenient Love

Neither wanted love in their marriage. But you don’t always get what you want.

Sophia Stevens is tired of struggling to pay the rent and help her brother through college. After seven years on her own, she is no farther ahead than the day she walked out on her old life and started again. So when super-sexy Italian property developer Luca Castellioni proposes a marriage of convenience, she’s intrigued. Financial security and life in a beautiful Italian villa in exchange for attending a few business functions and typing some letters seems very convenient. Until she breaks the most definite term of their arrangement: she falls in love with her husband.

Luca Castellioni lives for his job restoring beautiful buildings to their former glory. When his business expansion plans are hampered by the need for an English-speaking secretary and a wife, he does what any efficient businessman would do—he combines his requirements and selects and English administrative assistant as his bride. But when his fascination with his wife distracts him from business, he wishes there was more marriage and not so much convenience in their agreement. Too bad his wife has reconstructed her own life, without him.
When their respective lives pull them in opposite directions, they must decide: will they continue to put their businesses first, or allow love to overcome the obstacles between them?

Available from:

Giveaway ends 11:59pm EST July 12th. Please supply your email in the post. You may use spaces or full text for security. (ex. jsmith at gmail dot com) If you do not wish to supply your email, or have trouble posting, please email with a subject title of JCR GIVEAWAY to be entered in the current giveaway. 


  1. Career, but I think that's what most college students say. I definitely believe that you can make a marriage work with multiple people in your life - there's no hard-and-fast soulmate rule. When you're young, success seems way more important than settling down. (But of course, when reading romance novels, I always want them to choose love over careers!)

    pemadee at gmail dot com

    1. Hi Pemadee, thanks for stopping by today. I agree with you. I believe a person can have a successful, albeit different, relationship with various people (just not all at once). And age definitely is a factor in deciding on love or career. The older a person gets, the more important family and love become in their life. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it. Alexia

  2. I think that most women today choose their career over love because they have to fight to succeed in business. When I read that scenario in a novel, I am annoyed at the woman. I always want them to choose love.


    1. Hi Jo-Anne, thanks for stopping by today and taking the time to comment. It is hard to choose, especially when a woman has fought her way up the corporate ladder. At least in a romance novel you know love will win out in the end. Cheers, Alexia

  3. One thing I've learned in the last twenty years is that everyone is replaceable in their job. In your family, though, no one can replace you. I've been married 21 years and neither of us had a full-time job when we were first married. We've been through numerous career changes over the years. If it wasn't for his support, I never would have had the courage to become an author.

    1. That's very true, Kristina. And another reason why writing is the best job, because you can have it all. I am a stay-at-home mom (or trophy wife as I prefer to be called), very active in my children's lives. But I also have a rewarding career that I love. And my husband is my biggest promoter. I wish you all the best in your writing and your relationships. Thanks for stopping by and commenting today. Cheers, Alexia

  4. No, I haven't
    Signed up for newsletter

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

    1. Thanks for signing up for my newsletter. Next issue will be coming out July 23.

  5. I've never had to give up a dream to pursue a relationship. I was lucky enough to meet my hubby at work.

    I love the sound of the book, Alexia. :)

    Marcy Shuler

  6. Hi Marcy,
    How wonderful to find your husband at work. I haven't written an "office" romance yet but it is tempting. Imagine, though, if after a few months of dating one of you was asked to move to another branch across the country while the other was offered a promotion at the local office. Oh, the dilemma.
    Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment today.


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